Words Escape Me Right Now!!!

Here I am waking up in an already foul mood due to a couple of phone calls yesterday and I am sure to have a bad day today and tomorrow. All last night something was churning inside of me, I don't know what it was or how it started, but I have been thinking of ways to exact revenge on all those who hurt me/crossed me/wrong me recently. I'm not talking about going out to physically hurt anyone. I am a very vocal person, my bark is worse than my bite. I am not physical at all. Each person that has done something wrong to me in since 2004 (and I'm not referring to those in pageantry), I know something about them that would get each and everyone of them in trouble with either local, state or federal authorities. We are talking about Tax Evasion, Embezzlement, Tax Fraud, Perjury, Adultery....you name it...I know something about all of them.

But when I awoke to some news that many of us on BBC have been dreading for the longest time. Little Kayleigh Anne Freeman passed away last night at 9:44pm. Last night, I was dreading letting Tink-Tink in the bed, as when she gets in that bed, she likes to play around until all hours of the night. Not letting anyone go to sleep, she also likes to scratch the walls, our pillows, me and anything else she can get her hands on. But the padding on her crib needed to be washed something awful. It reaked of baby drool, spit-up, milk, oreos and nose junk from her cold. I couldn't take the way it looked or smelled so I had to wash it and it was pretty late when I decided to do it, so that meant she had to go in the big bed with us. She played around for awhile, but she went to sleep sometime after 9:30 pm. And she slept so peacefully while in the bed, I got up several times to turn the tv down...to turn it up...to go to the restroom...to do this and to do that. But she never once woke up. Even when she got up this morning before we did, she just sat up and played in the semi-darkness (our room never gets totally dark) with her doll and snake toy that is also a rattle. I was still in a very bad mood as I anticipated the next 24 plus hours.

But when i got the news, it all went away. For us, we'll get to hold our baby today. We'll get to talk to her, feed her and change her diapers. We'll get to see her first steps and hear her first words. As a mother, I will get to take her on what I will soon be naming our "Monthly Mother/Daughter Weekends", where just the both of us (no males) will go out to eat and shop and do Mommie/Daughter things at home. I'll get to do her hair and put on pretty dresses for her. I just feel so angry and sad that little Kayleigh is gone now. I checked up on her everyday to see how she was doing and was so sure she was going to come home and see that room her parents made for her.

Please keep the Freemans in your thoughts and prayers.